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1. These days about half the stuff in your shopping cart says, “For fast relief.”

2. When asked about the best thing about being old, your reply  “No peer pressure.”

3. You feel like your body has got totally out of shape, so you got your doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. You decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. You bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time you got your leotards on, the class was over.

4.You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

5. A fortune teller offers to read your face.