The son as primary caregiver of the mother. From the bog of Frangipani Singaporenicum

Dementia, Caregiving and Life in General

There seems to be two ways to describe what happens to the personality of a person with dementia as time passes. On the one hand, we are told – it’s not them, it’s the illness talking, they can’t help it. On the other hand, there are those who believe the essence of the person is still there. Bob deMarco, looking after his mom Dotty who has Alzheimer’s, subscribes to this other belief. It has been eye-opening to me to read about how he handles Dotty, and listening to and watching Dotty on the videos has been encouraging.

I think the truth as usual lies somewhere in between. Personalities are altered by the disease process, and different aspects surface at different times. Some characteristics are consistent – wanting to go home, not recognising faces, restlessness, a phase of anger. I say “not recognising faces”, because that is different from not…

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