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(Photo credit: Masterxela)

A‘s for arthritis,
B‘s the bad back,
C’s the chest pain, perhaps cardiac?

D is for dentures,
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure – I’d rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show…
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

 L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus – there’s a bell in my ears!
U is for urinary… big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.

W is for worry – what’s going ’round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found;
Y is another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have – in my mind.

I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed/And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

(From ‘The Armorer’)