Top Five Reasons Why Inday Is Scurrying Out Of The Door ( Remember folks, this is in the setting of having an Alzheimer’s patient in the household)
1. SOMETHING IS ALWAYS MISSING – and the primary suspect is the kasambahay, all the time. Never mind if the item lost is as sentimental as an ivory comb or monumental as a hair clip and is found in the kitchen cabinet, bedside table or the trash bin later. (Call me names, call me anything, call me a dimwit, call me even ugly but never, never call me a thief! – Inday’s parting words)
2. THE GRANDPA’S OR THE GRANDMA’S HOBBY is pinching the kasambahay here, there and everywhere with no explanations given.Sometimes it could even be as primal as biting. (And the poor kasambahay could not even pinch nor bite them back. Not fair!)
3. GRANDMA IS SO PARANOID she would ask the kasambahay to turn inside out all the pockets of all the trousers before they are loaded into the washing machine to see that no money is left inside. (Lola, I don’t have all day. After this I would have to cook lunch, make the bed, clean the bedroom, feed the dogs, pick up Junjun from school, clean up the dog poopand your poop too!)
4. THE LADY OF THE HOUSE (SI MADAM) is always yelling at every one – husband, mother-patient, children, gardener, driver, neighbors’ belting out the performance of their lives in their rendition of ‘Faithfully’ by Journey in karaoke , kids playing outside , the forever texting kasambahay and any other living thing including the dogs, cockroaches - unwittingly or unwittingly, from sheer exhaustion from being a wife, mother, career woman with a devil of a boss, tutor and her husband’s masseuse in caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s Disease. (Prompting one kasambahay to quip ‘Ay si Madam nagiging parang monster’.)
5. THE GRANDPA PATIENT If he is not tailing them like a shadow from the bedroom – his to theirs, living room, kitchen, utility room and if he is not attempting to hug the kasambahay in the veranda and kiss or fondle them in the wrong parts, would be asking, no, make that pestering them for a hand job. (I rest my case! I give up! By all means go, and run as fast as you can, Inday and yes, I would understand if you never come back).
DISCLAIMER: The identities of the subjects in the vignettes and other stories on this blog are intended to be ‘anonymous’ to protect the patient and their families and keep the doctor-patient confidentiality or fiduciary relationship. The personas cited here are not meant to be blind items or fodder for gossip. My lips are zipped in that department. Some of their identities and circumstances have been altered but the nuances of their medical condition are fact and not hidden behind veiled medical-clinical fiction. Think Oliver Sack’s ‘The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat’. Okay, it’s like comparing Roederer Cristal rose wine with vin d’ table but I know you see the drift.